Haha Life sucks
(We moved when I was 11, I turned 12 in 2020, 13 in 2021 and Im turning 14 in may)
I was always kinda insecure about my weight. Like I have this memory of first grade looking at the other girls in my class then looking at myself and thought I was fat. Then there was…….. whatever 2020 was and everything at home was just getting worse and worse and worse. We had just moved from( deleted due to location ) in late July of 2019 and my dad didn’t move with me, my sister, and my mom until April so he could retire. My mom is hmmm how should I put it a Narcissistic a~shole. She looves to play victim and gaslighting other people. During quarantine, I was away from literally everyone. I live in a super rural town 7 miles from the closest friend, 11-12 at the time with no phone (still no phone) So of course it would be the first time my abandonment issues got really bad. Doesn’t help that I started to get depressed. Then add on my already existing anxiety and BOOM a hot mess. In the middle of quarantine, I told my mom about having suicidal thoughts and that was NOT a very good decision because she just sat there are threatened to punish me if I acted on them in any way. There is more but that’s for another story.
- First off and most importantly thank you for writing in to Teen Central and trusting us with your story. It sounds like there is a lot going on in this moment, but remember that they are moments and not forever.
- Lets talk about some of the things that you are saying in this entry . That must be really hard processing through the different things that are going on within your time especially in quarantine . One thing that is important is that SUICIDE is not something to be ignored and if you are feeling this way asking for help is the best way . You can do this a variety of ways such as through the SUICIDE HOTLINE (1-800-273-8233) or by TEXTING “HELLO” TO 741741. I know you had mentioned not having a phone. If the computer is the best way to talk to a hotline you can do this by going to the link https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. This link will take you to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline which is open 2 pm to 2 am . Working through some of the original things that you are reporting such as DEPRESSION and ANXIETY is super important as well . Within our Teen Central website you can find resources on both of these things under our LEARN tab.
- Another important thing right now is support. If there is a way to have someone that you feel does support you talk about some of these feelings it might be a great way to feel heard and process through how you are feeling. This could be anyone it doesn’t just have to be a parent. This could be a a teacher, friend, religious affiliate, or even a trusted neighbor.
- One of the biggest hills that we find in our adolescents is LEARNING TO COPE . This DOES NOT mean get over it, but rather how to embrace and understand some of the things that we are going through. One way to to do this is learning how to calm yourself. We have some great resources in our TOOLS tab which gives everything from music therapy, wellness/ meditation, and even some suggestions on hobbies and interests.
- Finding your SAFE SPACE. It sounds as though there may be some conflict happening . One of the best things that I have found is to take the time to find a space that you can consider your SAFE SPACE. This can be anything from a bedroom, bathroom, or even a closet . This is NOT a barricade but rather a space that you are allowed to go, take deep breaths, and process through what is happening in these moments. DEEP BREATHING is a great way to slow the mind, slow the heart, and help us work through our emotional response to the things that are happening around us.
- Lastly, know that you are not alone. Quarantine has been really hard on the world, especially those with mental health. You are strong and this is clear by you writing in to us. Now it is time to process, and take care of yourself because YOU’RE IMPORTANT.