Midnight Troubles

Midnight Troubles

Hello I wrote another story before but this one is a bit different. I am 11 and a lot has been going on in my life. LIKE ALOT. But I’m concerned about my mental health. So here is what goes through my head every night…

first I cry for an hour in my bed. Normally it’s triggered by me watching something sad or it just comes on its own. Then I am thinking about a lot at once. Like what if I am depressed or I have anxiety? Wait – what if I am exaggerating and I’m fine? But when I told my mom she said it was nothing. is she right? And I know my parents hate gay people. what if I am gay when I am older? What will I do when grandpa dies? Will I cry, or will I just lash out? Or will I just shut off? Why don’t I have any friends? I wanna die. But I can’t because then I’ll be dead. What happens when you die? What if I try to self harm? Would it take my mind off of other problems I have? But then my parents would know. What is wrong with me? Why hasn’t my period come yet? What if it has and I haven’t noticed.(by the way I am crying throughout all of this too) I also think like: Why do I shake my hands and I can’t stop sometimes? And other things like that.

I normally don’t care about it because I thought it was normal, but my cousins stayed at my house but I still burst into tears in the middle of the night. I am so embarrassed. Please tell me what to do because I am scared and I am losing sleep and not eating as often because of this.

HELP YOURSELF

  • Thank you for sharing your story with the TeenCentral community. Even though you’ve written to us before it sounds like this time you’ve shared quite a lot about yourself and your true feelings. That can be difficult and even scary, so good for you!
  • You shared a lot of different examples thoughts that sometimes may come into your mind at night. If you ever have thoughts of wanting to harm or kill yourself, please contact the National Suicide Hotline Available 24/7 Helps individuals in suicidal crisis with support 1-800-273-8255 https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org OR the Crisis Text Line Available 24/7 Support to all individuals in crisis Text “HELLO” to 741741 www.crisistextline.org.  Don’t ever wait – people are there to talk to you right away.
  • It’s normal to have questions about your changing body, sexuality and other “growing up” issues as you are getting a little older. Have you considered talking to one of your parents about these questions you have? They could be anticipating your questions and ready to answer them!
  • If your questions are upsetting you enough struggle with sleeping and eating that’s a good sign that you could use some help getting through these struggles. If talking to your parents is too difficult to you maybe try a school guidance counselor or another adult you know you can trust.

CONSIDER THIS

  • Have you ever tried using a journal to write down all of your thoughts and questions? A lot of kids your age say that this is very helpful. Maybe give it a try.
  • If a writing journal doesn’t work for you maybe try an art journal. Drawing, sketching or making collages that represent your feelings can really help you express yourself.
  • Consider who are the most positive and trusting people in your life, make a list of those supportive individuals. What qualities do they all share and how do they impact your life?
  • Grounding techniques such as breathing, meditation and (if it is relevant to you) prayer can help you focus better, calm anxiety, bring you peace of mind, and keep you safe in times of high stress. When you feel overwhelmed, upset or scared, what are some things you can try to stay calm and centered?