Three days ago, my mom walked in on my girlfriend and I having sex. That would’ve been bad enough, but I’m a girl too and I hadn’t told my parents about me being gay yet. Needless to say, things are really tense and awkward now here at home and I’m not sure what to do about it.
HELP YOURSELF:
- It seems like you have a couple different things going on that can be really tough for anyone to go through. We are glad you reached out to TeenCentral so that your voice can be heard. Being outed when you may not be ready to do so can be super difficult. We are here for you on this journey.
- TeenCentral has some really good resources on the site for those who identify in the LGBTQ+ community. Click here to read through some of the info. When the decision to come out is taken from you, you may not feel in control of the information or your self-identity. That feeling can be very overwhelming; just know you are not alone in this.
- If you need to find support, the youth Talkline for LGBT youth is one call away. Call 1-800-246-PRIDE (7743). Talk to someone who may have been through similar experiences. Check it out.
- Is there anyone who you have already came out to that you can process this with, or someone you trust with that information? Talking through what you went through, how you were feeling when your mom walked in, and how you might feel moving forward, could feel like a big relief. Just remember, it is your story to tell, not anyone else’s.
THINK ABOUT IT:
- Being able to live your authentic self now may reduce the stress that comes with hiding who you are and who you love. This may feel like a weight lifted off your shoulders. Finding support and building a community of people who identify with you may also be what you need to help you through this difficult situation. Think about it, try to find the silver lining in this really awkward and tough situation. What are the benefits of your mom knowing the genuine you?
- Just be prepared for some feelings of shock from your mom. She may not understand or accept your truth if and when you are ready to have a conversation about your sexuality. If she does have a negative reaction, how will you cope with some of those emotions? What safety plans do you have in place to manage all of these emotions. Come up with 5 things you can do if she reacts with hostility of discrimination.
- Lastly, sex and sexual attraction between two consenting individuals is normal. We do encourage you to make sure you are communicating openly with your partner about consent. Asking things like “Is this okay?” “Are you comfortable?” “Can we _____?” will confirm that you and your partner are on the same page about what you are ready to do. Make sure you are using safe sex practices when engaging in these activities.
- Take a breath, take ten deep breathes. You are not alone!
