My friend recently died do to asthma and I miss her very much. Why did she have to go?
- First, thank you so much for writing into TeenCentral and sharing your story with us. We are so sorry to hear about your friend.
- It may take a while to understand what you’re thinking or feeling, and it’s normal to feel shocked and wonder why this happened. Grief is different for everyone. Take a look at our GRIEF section on TeenCentral. In this section there is a lot of information on what grief can feel like, look like, and some resources that are out there.
- You stated in your entry that this was recent. Have you tried talking to someone about how you are feeling? This can be anyone such as a teacher, friend, parent, coach, or religious affiliate. It doesn’t matter if you’re not sure what to say, talking to someone can help ease some of the initial shock of grief.
- It is ok to ask why, and to be confused as to why your friend died. Medical problems like asthma can be very dangerous, and not everyone will survive. You may hear people talk about things they really liked about your friend and how much they’ll miss them. Consider that it’s ok to feel very sad, and cry and miss your friend. It’s ok if you think about her a lot and want to talk about times you spent together. It may seem easier to not say anything and to keep things inside, but that can make grief feel even worse. If you don’t want to talk, you could journal or draw about your friend or write letters to your friend. It is ok to feel any of the feelings that you are feeling at this time.
- Consider letting others know what is going on. You may find you’re having trouble focusing, or you’re appetite changes, you’re not sleeping well, or you think a lot about your friend. By letting your parents, a teacher or coach know they can help you work through these really normal grief reactions.
- Lastly, maybe look at some ways to calm your mind. In our TOOLS tab we have some information on how to calm the mind and the body. This can hopefully help with any anxiety that may start to come up in the grief process.
- Remember to take time and be kind to yourself.