My Friends and My Feelings
So my friend has liked this guy forever and never shuts up about him. Me and this guy have been close friends for even longer, but now I’m feeling something, I think I like him. How do I tell my friends about this? Like how would I tell the girl we like the same guy? And how do I tell the guy that I like him without things getting awkward? Also, how can I tell if someone likes me??
- First of all, I’d like to recognize that asking for advice can be very difficult, so thank you for reaching out to the Teen Central community for support! We are here to help you.
- It is clear that you have your friends’ feelings in mind as you struggle with this situation. Make sure you are also checking in with yourself and your own feelings. Is there a trusted adult you can seek out to talk through these feelings in a productive way so you don’t have to bottle them up?
- We think differently, and have altered decision-making ability during times of high stress. Finding calm in the storm may be the first step to resolution: try introducing meditation, deep breathing, or other body-based relaxation techniques as you think about your options.
- Take a look at the Tools tab on this site, specifically the Relationships pages, to find a bit of information on the difference between healthy and unhealthy relationships. Young people, and adults alike, can have difficulty figuring out what healthy relationships look like. Can you find some similarities in the friendships you have currently?
- This could be an amazing opportunity for an honest, serious conversation with each of your friends. Do you feel as though you can be open with them about your feelings, free of judgement? What would you need to do to have this conversation? Who can help support you in initiating the conversations?
- Try putting your thoughts on paper, especially in moments where you feel you cannot speak to someone in person. Jotting down your most honest thoughts allows you to clear your head of them, then reflect later. Read over your entries after a few days, and see if your thoughts and feelings change day by day.
- Speaking of journaling, you could write down a list of the possible outcomes. Here are some examples:
- What is the best/worst thing that could happen if you shared your feelings with your friend?
- In a ‘perfect’ world, what could be the best ending for the three of you?
- What is the best/worst thing that could happen if you told your guy friend that you’re attracted to him?
- Which outcomes are you hoping for, and what is the most realistic?
- Most importantly: Which outcome will bring YOU the most relief.