Need Help with Family Stress

I’m 15 and living at home with my mom, stepdad, twin brother, and younger siblings. I feel trapped, anxious, and frustrated.

My mom sometimes hits my younger siblings and threatens to hit me when I try to stop her. She yells at the baby, accuses him of manipulating me, and once broke a ruler while hitting him. She has also scolded me for expressing suicidal thoughts on mental health forms, telling me I’m not really suicidal and I should erase my answers.

She frequently mocks or shames me, pressures me about religion, and cuts me off when I try to explain my feelings. She threatens to abandon me or send me to abusive relatives if she’s upset. In the past, she didn’t protect me from abusive relatives until things escalated, which made me feel unsafe and ignored.

This environment has caused me anxiety, depression, and fear. I feel like I can’t be honest about my feelings or mental health. I need advice on coping, staying safe, and protecting my mental health until I can live independently when I turn 18.

HELPING YOURSELF NOW

• First, I want to say thank you for reaching out to the TeenCentral community. It takes a lot of courage to tell such a vulnerable story.  It must feel very disheartening to feel like your family doesn’t support you emotionally, or that they are abusing you. It’s important that you get help soon for these problems!
• The number 1 focus should always be your safety first.  Everyone deserves to feel safe in their lives.  If anyone is causing you harm, please don’t be afraid to let someone know.  Law enforcement, another trusted adult, even hotlines such as the ones below:

National Suicide Hotline
Available 24/7 – In order to reach the National Suicide Hotline you DIAL or TEXT 988 – or CHAT at 988lifeline.org.

https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org

• Do you have anyone in your life that you can go to when things aren’t going well at home?  A different family member, if that’s an option, a therapist, a teacher, a pastor?  I would recommend you talking to someone.  It’s always good to have someone to help protect and support you. If this is not an option and you are truly on your own finding help for this abuse, then we do have a page on this site just for that purpose. CLICK HERE FOR GUIDELINES

AFTER YOU ARE SAFE, CONSIDER THIS

• On our website, there is a “Tools” tab that has an activity labeled “Keeping Yourself Safe”.  This may be a beneficial activity for you to help you take a look at your situation.  There’s also an activity labeled “Conflict Conversation Organizer”.   This is another option if you decide to sit down with your family and try again to have a discussion.
• Have you started a journal?  A journal is a great place to express all the feelings you have without any worry about judgment.  It’s a free space where you can be you.
• Do you enjoy exercise?  Going for a walk, jogging, yoga- can all be relaxing and are a great way to expend energy if you need to let some out safely.
• Remember- you are not alone.  There are a lot of people out there who are willing to help you- you just need to give them the chance.  You deserve to feel safe, and you are so worth it.