This is not really a story to begin with and i am just here listing down my issues hoping I can get some guidance on how to deal with them I have talked to my friends about this in the past but they are also teens like me and I don’t think their opinions or method of help will help me with my problem.
firstly, my relationship I have been in a healthy and stable relationship for the past year and as me and him both will be out of school from next year we know it will be hard for us to continue dating the same way we are now and long distance is hard. one day i brought up this topic with him and asked if we will be okay in future and his straight without a second thought answer was – no it will be hard – and he was so sure that he won’t be able to make time for me due to studying. and that hurts me what i want him to say is at least he will try to make time for me. that will be enough. but him straight out denying it is not something i can digest.
he as a person [that] has always been scared of being happy for too long because of past experiences but I don’t want him to do the same with me, and be so sure that we will not survive in the near future. so how do I talk to him about this, about my feelings and ask him if he can at least try to make it work?
secondly my parents – i recently participated in a school debate and due to that i went over to my friends house on sunday and even gave like two hours of my daily study time to prepare for it but my parents blamed me for taking part in this because i don’t want to study and i am taunting them and they said that i won’t be able to do anything in and life and i am better off dead. These taunts have been going on for years and i should be able to ignore them but I can’t. so how can I ignore all the things they say as these things are only increasing the amount of negative talks I give myself?
and lastly school – it is very exhausting and i can hardly manage school and homework then studying on my own and tuitions and i am so tried at times that I do the questions which i know by heart wrong. so how can I deal with such a hectic schedule on a daily basis without losing composure and with a calm mind and manage everything without constant panic attacks?
again writing the whole thing out was a relief in itself. and everyone out there struggling, you’ll figure it out in time and with the right guidance if you need that like me.
Ways to Help Yourself
- First and foremost, thank you for trusting TeenCentral and reaching out to express what’s going on in your life. Be proud of your courage to open up and ask for help. It seems like you are dealing with a lot right now.
- You mentioned having a healthy relationship but struggle thinking about what will happen in the future when you both are out of school next year. Relationships can be challenging due to many reasons, especially long-distance relationships. Consider sitting down and having a conversation during which you both discuss pros and cons. Sometimes writing things out helps you see a different perspective. If you click on our “Tools” tab there are many ideas that could help including what’s called Conflict Conversation Organizer and Making Hard Decisions, these are meant to help you organize your thoughts and push you to think a little further, check it out. You can do one for yourself or you and your partner can both complete one. This may help each of you see the other persons perspective.
- Relationships with parents can be just as hard as any other relationship. Have you considered talking to your parents and letting them know how their words affect you and causes you to have negative self talk? Do you have another trusted adult that you can talk to about your feelings if you don’t feel comfortable to your parents? Negative self talk can take a toll on you and the more it increased may even cause you to hurt self. In our “Tools” tab there’s a section Positive Self Talk Statements and Daily Positive Reminder that may help when you have negative thoughts. If you ever feel like you need to talk to someone but have no one please consider the Crisis Text Line by texting “HOME” to 741741, they are available 24 hours a day. You can also visit their website at crisistextline.org, someone is always available. There are several resources on this website about handling difficult family situations. Click on the FAMILY tab to learn more.
- You mentioned feeling exhausted and hardly managing school and homework. School can be very overwhelming and hard to find a balance. Try doing a schedule of the things you need to do and prioritize them based on importance. In our “Tools” tab we have a Daily Schedule tab where it helps you write down your to do’s and set time frame of how much time to dedicated. It also helps you realize it and when to ask for help with some of your school tasks. Have you considered asking teachers or your guidance counselor for additional help? This may help alleviate some school stress.
If You Are Up For It
Have you considered using a coping skill to help with your feelings when you are going through these things? Here are some things you can do:
- Music – can be a way to express our feelings into words. It was be finding a song that expresses your current mood or situation or listening to songs in general to help get you out of your current mood. Check out this music activity: Music to Cope with Stress.
- Art – can be a creative way to express yourself whether is it through drawing, coloring, crafting or collaging. There are many coloring book or apps available or simply printing coloring pages online.
- Writing/Journaling – there are times that we don’t know how to effectively express our self, journaling helps put our thoughts into words whether it’s meant to be an outlet just to let it out or can be used to expressed our self with a loved one.