Uncomfortable and need to share

Uncomfortable and need to share

My dad has always said and done things to make me uncomfortable. He has threatened to get in the shower with me with our swimsuits on so he could wash me properly. He hasn’t threatened it in a while or done it. But today I had fallen hard and the wounds on my knees hand and elbow were unbearable. But he made me shower. 40 minutes after saying I could tomorrow. I didn’t want to at first. I told him it would hurt me. I asked to do it tomorrow. He said no. And asked if I wanted us to get in with our swimsuits and he bathe me. Mom isn’t home and my brother is sleeping, and I hate the idea of this, so I barely whisper no. He nods and I got in. It hurt so bad. What hurt more is that he threatened me with the swimming suits again. This time not to scare me into showering. A lot more has happened but this is just what happened today. I feel alone and hurt..I don’t know what to do.

CONSIDER THIS:

  • Thank you for reaching out and sharing your story. The reference you mention of your dad “helping” you sounds like a harmful situation for you.  It is very important that you tell your mom or another adult about what is going on.  If one adult does not take action, tell another until something happens to keep you safe.  
  • Be assertive, don’t hold back and be vocal about your “no” responses. You want the person, in this case your dad, to be aware that what he is doing is not okay and you will not stand for it.  Also, find another adult when this happens and share what is going on.  You deserve support to manage this.
  • Be sure to keep yourself safe.  You might want to consider telling your mom that you do not want to be alone with your dad in order to avoid these situations in the future.  You deserve to be in a safe environment that should not be forced into any interaction between anyone.
  • Expressing this concern to a trusted individual is crucial. At this point your dad needs to be directly spoken to by another individual about what he is doing. Refer to our Help section for direct resources that you can access quickly. At any given moment if you feel that he or anyone escalates the situation and you are in immediate danger do not hesitate to dial 9-1-1.

HELP YOURSELF:

  • What plan can you make for yourself if you are in this situation again?
  • Who can you speak to directly about this issue going on in your home?
  • Who can you call if you feel no one is helping you?  What hotline numbers can you have available for when you need it?
  •  Who do you feel would support you if you shared what happened and how can you approach them?