Stories

Alone and Scared

By February 22, 2021No Comments

Help. I’m going to be alone. My partner of 3-4 years is leaving me. I have no real friends as I am quite shy, so I mainly spoke to her and the people she was talking to.  So I have no real friends, and after she’s gone, I will have no one. My family live quite far away and I can’t contact them all the time as they’re busy.

I just feel like my life is going downhill again. I honestly wish I could stop existing. I want to get help, but most help lines by me aren’t open when I’ve finished work which is anytime between 6pm and 9pm. And I start way before they open, at around 4-5am. I have tried to get help before as I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety.  Now that I’m going to be entirely alone, like she’s even taking the pets, I don’t know what to do. I feel like I’m going to end up self harming again as there’s nothing to stop me. I just want to die. I don’t want to be alone. I need affection.  I need socialization.  I literally crave nothing more than to cuddle up with someone and play a game or watch a movie but there’s no one I can do that with and I’m freaking out.

I thought I was prepared for this as I felt like it was going to end for quite a while but now it’s happening I don’t know.  I’m now stuck in a house we just renewed the tenancy on. I want to move because there’s too many memories here but there’s no where else to go. I’m stuck, alone and scared.

THINGS YOU CAN DO RIGHT NOW

  • You are having a really tough time and you are right to be alarmed about your situation.  It is hard when a long relationship ends, especially when someone who has been such a major part of your life moves out.  You feel alone and you also feel trapped, and perhaps don’t believe that you have people who you can turn to for support.  You stated that you have had problems with depression and anxiety in the past and you are worried that you will start harming your self again.  Thank you for contacting TeenCentral to get some help and support.  It can been very difficult to be open about these issues. Please continue to reach out whenever you want or need to.
  • You are right, you should seek help as soon as possible.  If you are thinking about self-harm or feeling scared please reach out to the Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255).  They are available 24 hours a day, so you can call after work.  Please call  whenever you are feeling worried about hurting yourself or when you feel you need to talk.  Urges to self-harm and urges to commit suicide are very different (we know) but these experts also understand this and can help you. Also, if you would prefer to text, there is an international Crisis Text LineText “Hello” to 741-741 to start a conversation any time of the day or night.
  • We would like you to consider how important it is for you to connect with other people when you are feeling so alone.  Talking to someone about how you are feeling can help.  Your family is far away and busy, but please try to reach out to them.  If you explain what is going on, they may be able to give you some support even if just from a distance.   Is there anyone else in your family or community who you can reach out to and talk to about how your are feeling right now?  Even five minutes might help you feel better.   Also consider looking into whether your place of employment provides support to employees who want to get some help.  If not, please try to reach out to a professional helper to see if you can make an appointment to talk.  You may find someone who has online appointments that work with your schedule.

CONSIDER THIS

  • TeenCentral has some suggestions for how to cope with anxiety and loneliness.  Please explore our site further.  There are stories shared by other people facing challenges and some resources that may be helpful for you.  Most importantly you will see that you are not alone in this experience. Also consider taking some other steps to help you deal with your anxiety and depression, such as engaging in activities to improve your emotional well being or finding ways to meet other people.
  • Some people find that when they are feeling scared or depressed that writing their feelings down can help.  The next time you think that you can’t cope, consider writing in a journal.  You could write about what exactly you are worried about, what you would say to a family member the next time you talk to them, or brainstorm about what activities you might want to do that you enjoy. You may get some more ideas about this by reading our What’s New Blog – Journaling as a Coping Skill For Stress
  • Making friends can be difficult, especially if you are shy.  You might consider getting involved in some volunteer activities that you can perform safely right now.  Some people find that volunteering with others, even if it is online or outside, helps them to feel more connected.
  • Also consider some new activities you might want to try.  You could find a safe way to get outside and be in nature, or learn a new skill or find a new hobby.   For some people, exercise really helps to improve their mood.  You are busy working, but think about setting aside some time to exercise or just dance around the room to music.  Think about other activities you could do to improve your mood.