Attempting to End a Friendship

By March 28, 2021No Comments

I recently came out as a trans girl to my religious “friend.”  It went very badly and I no longer want to be friends with this person.  I’m really kind of scared to tell them to go away because we’ve been friends for a long time though.  So basically I need help telling someone to leave me alone.


  • Coming out to others can be really tough, especially since we are never totally sure how others will react.  When people who are close to us seem to struggle to accept who we are, it is normal to feel unsure of how to proceed in our interactions with these individuals.  Although not everybody is always going to celebrate your true self, we at the community are so proud and happy that you have shared your story with us!
  • Being a trans girl, there may be times when you feel like you are not as accepted as you may have wished by the people who were once close to you.  Remember that even when times seem tough, there are tons of people who are willing and ready to help!  The HELP page of has lots of links to amazing resources like the Trans Lifeline (877-565-8860) or the LGBT National Youth Talkline (800-246-7743) that can offer support without judgment.
  • Although your experience coming out to your friend did not go as you may have wished, have you made the decision to come out to any other people close to you?  Once you have identified a trusted adult or friend who accepts you for who you are that person can often become a great support to listen and support you, no matter what issues may be leading you to feel stressed or upset.


  • It sounds like you appreciate and value the connection that you had with your friend, but you may be feeling unsure if you want to maintain this friendship moving ahead.  On the LEARN Tab of, there is some useful information that you may want to consider about the characteristics of healthy relationships.  Although some of the points may be targeted to more romantic connections, these charts may help you understand why you may feel it necessary to leave a potentially unhealthy friendship.  Setting good boundaries with others is one of the best ways to show ourselves some love and respect!
  • As you consider if and how you would like to meet with your friend to address the state of your relationship you may want to consider using the Making Hard Decisions guide from the TOOLS page of  By weighing both the positives and negatives of your options, you may feel much more comfortable with your decision and a little more prepared for however your friend may respond.  We cannot expect to control others’ thoughts, feelings, or actions, but that does not mean that we cannot make an informed choice of how we will navigate tough situations.
  • As you continue to make big decisions about if, how, and when to come out, remember that you should never forget that you need to take care of yourself throughout this process.  The LGBTQ page from the LEARN section of has some great tips on what you can do to make sure that your safety and well-being remain at the forefront, even if others do not seem to prioritize them.  Ultimately, YOU are the person who needs to accept and love who you are.