Stories

Can You Love Someone You Barely Know?

By October 20, 2020No Comments

Hi, I have liked this guy for about a year now and I know from experience and my gut that he doesn’t like me back.  What’s weird is that I barely know him and haven’t spoken to him, but already I am crushing more than ever on him.  My crush (removed for privacy) is the most beautiful boy I have ever laid eyes on and I feel like I might love him…I know “crazy stalker girl”…but seriously, I like his smile, his calmness, his boyishness is just funny.  I like how he’s so easygoing…I like his voice, his style…everything.

My problem is I doubt he likes me back…always been the case.  Anyways, I’m a 16 year old girl (removed for privacy).  I just need to know if it’s weird to feel like you love someone tho you don’t know them much.  If I’m being honest even tho I never talk to him…during quarantine he was the one I missed the most…so much so it hurts.  I need to know if this is normal because…I have had 7 crushes and this one is sooooooo different and way the f*** more painful… please give me advice on what this may be.

HELP YOURSELF

  • Thank you for reaching out to Teen Central! Having a crush on somebody can lead to some very strong, at times even painful, feelings.  It can be tough as we experience these intense emotions, but you are definitely not weird for feeling a strong attraction to somebody else.  If you have some time, try browsing through the other stories on TeenCentral.com and you will see that there are many young people who have been in very similar situations.
  • Although you mentioned previous crushes in your life, it sounds like this time you may be experiencing even stronger feelings, maybe even love.  As you explore these romantic feelings, it may lead to a lot of questions, many doubts, and lots of new experiences.  If you ever just need to chat about your situation, you can always text “loveis” to 22522 to talk with somebody from the National Teen Dating Violence Hotline.  They can help answer whatever questions you may have about your intimate feelings and make sure that your well-being, both physical and emotional, is always the number one priority!
  • Trying to navigate the ups and downs of having a crush can be overwhelming, especially if we try to manage all of our strong feelings on our own. Sometimes having the support of somebody else can really help!  Are there any trusted adults in your life, like a parent, older sibling, or family friend, who would be available to listen as you express how you are feeling?  It may seem odd at first, but opening up to people who care about us can remind us that we are not alone, no matter what is going on in our romantic lives.

CONSIDER THIS

  • If you are feeling a strong attraction to your crush, have you thought about how to get to know him better?  It can be very intimidating to be the first one to initiate a dialogue, and you may have some doubts if it is even worth it.  Perhaps you could try using the Making Hard Decisions tool from TeenCentral.com to determine if you would like to try to explore a connection with your crush.  Knowing that we considered the best and worst case scenarios can often help us to feel comfortable with whatever decision we end up making for ourselves!
  • If you are not quite ready to share your feelings with somebody else, have you ever tried journaling as a way of expressing your emotions?  By recording your experiences, thoughts, and impressions, you can oftentimes gain a great deal of insight about the things that are happening in your life and how they may be impacting you.  There is more information about how to start journaling and some really interesting prompts in the post entitled “Journaling as a Coping Skill for Stress” on the What’s New Blog of TeenCentral.com.
  • Sometimes when we spend so much of our time and energy thinking about somebody else, we often tend to forget about ourselves!  Are there any activities or hobbies that you enjoy doing?  Try to remember to make time each day to do those things that make you happy.  By prioritizing our own self-care, we will oftentimes feel more relaxed and ready to handle whatever surprises, even the stressful ones, that we may encounter throughout our lives.