This is in regards to my daughter and her boyfriend. They were together for about 13 years. I always felt a bad feeling about him. He was living in a room. Later on, she asked him to live in their apartment. After a while, I noticed my daughter acting strange and erratic. She pushed us away. After that, they bought a house together. Later I came back to live with her. Now she is looking worse. He is around her much more and every time they are out together she sounds sluggish and shaky. She’s getting worse. What should I do to save her life?
- It sounds like you are pretty worried about your daughter. As a parent that is a normal feeling to have when you sense your child may be in a difficult place in their life. Thank you for trusting the Teen Central community with you and your family’s journey.
- If you ever think that your daughter (or yourself) are in any immediate danger it is always a good idea to reach out for help. You can text “HELLO” to 741741 for immediate 24 hour a day support. Also on our HELP tab at TeenCentral.com, there are several other resources that might be useful if you think she is in any immediate harm of violence (with her significant other) or drug use. You can encourage her to familiarize herself with these resources, if she would ever need them.
- Communication is vital to helping others. Your daughter should know that you are concerned, that she has loved ones who care about her, and that you are there for support. If you feel like you can’t talk to her yourself, is there anyone else in both of your lives that can open the lines of communication? Is there someone that your daughter trusts that she can open up to? Sometimes getting our emotions out to another person really helps ease the mind.
- It is also important to remember to take care of yourself. When we worry a lot about the people we love, sometimes our own well-being tends to struggle. It is always important to give yourself a break from time to time. What is one thing you can do to give your mind a much needed break? What makes you feel happy? It is much harder to support those you love when you yourself are depleted. In order to be there for your daughter, you also have to be taking care of yourself.
- Think about some ways that you can support your daughter while still giving her space to grow in her relationship and life. What are some small ways that you can show her that you’re there for her? Something as simple as a supportive text or phone call can really help a person in times of need. This will show her she is not alone on her journey and offers her some hope if she is feeling down. It may feel like she is pushing you away, but she may not be ready for the support just yet. Be there for when she does.
- If you are able to spend some time together, try doing a new activity. When our body is active sometimes our verbal defenses tend to drop, meaning she may be more inclined to open up to you. Try something small like, cooking together, taking a walk around the block, or a puzzle after dinner. They may seem like trivial things, but it is the simple connections that may really be the help she needs.