Stories

Everything’s Going Down in Flames

By December 3, 2020No Comments

Hi. I think i am depressed and my mom hates me, well my whole family practically. Today she punched me in the nose so idk [I don’t know] what to do about that. She acts like a literal child when things don’t go her way and she calls my friends names. She says she can do whatever she wants since she’s the parent but I’m not really sure if that’s ok.

Some other things that happened was her kicking me and my sister out of a hotel room because she was mad that we had a different opinion then her. I also recently told her I was an atheist, since I am, and now she wants to force me to go to church. I have to live here for four more years and my sister is going to leave me for college soon. I only have two friends and they live in a different country then me and I also moved to a new place so I don’t know anybody.

I really just need to know that I’m not the whole reason why everything’s going down in flames. Thanks for listening have a good day!!

HELP YOURSELF

  • Thank you so much for sharing your story with the TeenCentral community. It sounds like you have a lot going on and it takes a ton of bravery to come forward and speak up about what’s happening in your life. I also want to say that I’m really sorry to hear you are going through such a tough time. It sounds like a lot to handle for a young person. We will try to give you some things to consider for next steps that might help you in your situation.
  • First and foremost, if you are ever in a situation where your mother is violent towards you again you have the right to call 911 and report her directly to the police in your area. You do not have to allow someone to assault you, even if it is a parent. I want to acknowledge, however, that you may not be comfortable doing this and that’s okay. There are other ways you can get help than calling the police.
  • On our website there is a HELP tab where we have listed many help lines. In your case I might recommend Child Help USA National Hotline which is a hotline that helps young people suffering child abuse. The number is 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453). Maybe put this number in your phone and have it on hand in case of emergency. These people will be able to talk to you right away and give advice if your mom ever becomes violent with you again. The important thing to remember is that it’s definitely NOT okay, what you are describing in your story. Based on what you are describing [your mom punching you in the face], your mom is crossing the line into child abuse. I want to validate that for you.
  • Secondly, it’s actually rather normal for parents and teenagers to disagree on things like religion at your age. If you read other TeenCentral stories on this site you will find that other young people have dealt with similar problems. Parents have a hard time accepting that their kids are growing up and developing new ways of thinking. They struggle to let go and want to control them. At the same time the young person is trying to establish himself as an individual with his own ideas and identity, which is natural – but difficult for the parent. This creates significant family conflict and can damage relationships. Is there anyone else in your family who you feel comfortable talking to – another trusted adult? Maybe this person would be able to help you feel heard and sort out some of the things your thinking and feeling as you are establishing these ideas and your identity. Face to face communication with someone is often very helpful in these kinds of situations.

CONSIDER THIS

  • Coping skills are important for handling stressful situations. One of the strategies we often recommend to our readers/writers on TeenCentral is journaling. Read HERE about how journaling really helps in times of stress. It’s important to have a way to express and release some of your thoughts and feelings about what is going on. Journaling may be something that works for you!
  • But, if writing isn’t your thing you could always try art journaling or just art – drawing, sketching or something like that. Read HERE for some ideas on how that can help you cope with stress.
  • Make sure you are getting outside at least once a day. If you are the gamer type this can be a challenge. Hours can pass in the blink of an eye and before you know it, it’s dark again – especially this time of year. Try to get outside, even if it’s just to sit on your steps, porch or take a walk. Sunlight is really good for you when you are feeling depressed. To learn more about the symptoms about depression you can click HERE.