i was on vacation not that long ago and i met this boy. i knew he had a girlfriend but i still really liked him. one night we got caught almost getting intimate with each other (we both agreed to it). when i left his house and came back to mine, he sent me a message that he was going to keep this from his girlfriend because he really loved her and didn’t want their relationship to end. i totally understood him because they have been going out for over 3 years now. but, at the end of the night, he ended up telling her. he only told her that we kissed a few times and he was debating on whether or not he should tell her the complete truth. anyways, i feel so bad because his girlfriend will not forgive him and it is all because of a mistake we made together out of stupidity. i know shouldn’t have approached him but i felt so lonely and he was also leading me on ( we both came to the conclusion that it is both of our faults).
- Thank you for trusting Teen Central with this really sensitive issue. Dealing with feeling guilty, ashamed or embarrassed is really hard for anyone. Any time you speak up is a chance to help relieve some of these feelings. Hopefully you will realize you are not the only one that’s ever gotten stuck in this kind of situation.
- It sounds like you’re dealing with a lot of regret for your part in kissing this boy and being intimate with him. Figuring out relationships and how to manage sex or being physically intimate with someone (plus all the emotions that come with it) can be really confusing, and sometimes scary. Have you tried talking with someone you trust about what happened? Do you have someone in your life that you can talk with openly about relationships and being physical and keeping yourself safe? It may feel very awkward at first, but having someone to talk with can be a big relief when you’re figuring things out.
- Learning about the consequences that come with our choices (good or bad) is a big lesson as you’re growing up. And when the stakes are high, sometimes you need help figuring what the right choice is for you. Check out our TOOLS section for Making Hard Decisions, as well as the Support Plan so you know who you can turn to when tough choices come into your life.
- Understanding if a relationship is healthy for you or not, no matter if it’s an uncertain beginning or months down the road, is a really important thing. Check out the LEARN section for information about Relationships and recognizing a healthy relationship vs. an unhealthy one.
- There is not much you can do about the situation between this boy and his girlfriend, so giving them space may be good for them and you. They will have to figure out if they want to move forward in their relationship or not. Approaching him was only one of many choices that resulted in this situation – not the only reason. Consider if this can be a learning opportunity for you for future relationships, and consider your own well-being.
- Make sure you are taking time to take care of yourself. Check out our WELLNESS section and make time (at least 10 minutes a day) to do something that helps you feel happy, less stressed and at peace.