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How Do I tell Her…

By June 25, 2022June 28th, 2022No Comments

Hi. I’m in 9th grade and needed some advice. Right now I’ve been struggling. In fact I have for quite a few months. In march my “friends” started a rumor about me(nothing huge, just like oh she’s so toxic and doesn’t have any independence or something like that). Then they(there were 3 of them but there was one main person that just convinced everyone to go with it) sent me at multi paragraph text of “everything I did wrong” when really, they did almost everything listed to me and added some fake stuff to make it seem I was a terrible person.(Sorry for the run on sentences). They called me toxic, controlling, and too dependent. Ever since then I’ve been really down. they were the people I dreamt of going into high school with and trusted them, but they just pushed me aside like 3 years of friendship didn’t matter. But anyway, I just don’t feel the same. I feel betrayed and forgotten. They won’t even look at me. Even when I just tried be polite in class to make it less awkward, they dismissed me completely, or made a snide comment. I want to talk to someone, but I’m afraid to tell my mom and especially my dad. They aren’t really feelings people. I love them, they love me, I’m not in any danger, but I just don’t know how to talk to them. They kind of knew what happened between them, but never really talked about it since it happened. I’m not in school for 2 months, and my sister can’t do much because she’s only 16. I was just hoping someone was in the same situation and could give me some advice on what to do. Thanks for reading, and considering my story.

Help Yourself

  • Thank you for reaching out to us.  It must feel very lonely to lose the people you were closest to so quickly.  Please remember- you are not alone- in dealing with this as well as in your own life.
  • You should be very proud of yourself for wanting to reach out to someone.  That’s the first step in making connections that can help you.  You mentioned that your parents wont understand, but that they love you.  Maybe consider trying to explain how you’re feeling to them first and see how they respond?  They may be waiting for you to come forward and initiate the conversation about what’s bothering you.  Sometimes it helps to take that first step.
  • If you’re struggling to the point where you begin to feel unsafe, or you have a feeling of hopelessness, please consider talking to a professional (counselor, therapist, pastor, etc).  Sometimes it helps to talk to someone who is unbiased in the situation.

Consider This

  • Friends don’t start rumors about each other.  Friends are your support system and sometimes the conveyor of truths that you may not want to hear, but they are not harmful.  A friend should be someone who helps build you up, not tear you down.  You may want to ask yourself if these people have been doing that for you, and do you really want their influence in your life.
  • Now that we’re in the Summer, maybe try doing some different, fun activities that you enjoy and meet some new people! High School starts in a couple of months so now is a chance to try building some relationships with people that you either haven’t met yet, or maybe just made acquaintances with.  It’s easy to overlook new possibilities when you’re already settled in a friend group.
  • Most importantly, remember that you’re not alone in this.  You were brave enough to reach out.  Keep that up and you’ll find someone who makes you feel happy and is worthy of your time and care.