I am 14 and my brother is 19. My brother had a sleepover and a ton of his friends around the same age came. I think there were 12. Around 1:30 AM, I was in my room asleep and they barged in. They kept being obnoxious and loud so I got irritated and shoved them out. Then one of them punched me and I fell to the floor. After, it was just a blur… I vividly remember screaming and crying as they pulled my hair and spanked me. I remember them ripping my clothes off and making me bite down on them so I would be quiet. They drew and wrote on my face and boobs and all over my body with marker. They wrote degrading, sexual insults. They kept on punching and stomping on me. I think one of them even recorded me. I don’t remember what happened after, but when I woke up, my vagina and buttocks hurt so much. My mouth nasty and my breath smelled disgusting. My entire body was covered in lewd and degrading insults written in marker and I had so many bruises. My clothes were in a pile next to me. My entire body felt weak. I wrapped myself in a towel and ran to the bathroom. I showered for hours, trying to scrub every single mark off, but the bruises were still there. It didn’t feel like how it felt before. After I showered, I ran back to my room and tried cleaning it. There were stains all over the carpet. I tried to hide everything. And the worst part is, I looked outside the window and they were all still there playing football with my brother. I don’t remember if my brother was there when I was raped. I don’t know. I haven’t talked to him about it since.
HELP YOURSELF
- Thank you for sharing this with us. What you described sounds incredibly frightening and painful, and it took a lot of courage to reach out. No matter what happened before, being harmed, having your clothes removed, being physically hurt, or being touched sexually without your consent is NOT your fault.
- Your safety is the most important thing right now. Because you described injuries, memory gaps, possible sexual assault, and feeling unsafe, please tell a trusted adult immediately, such as a parent, caregiver, school counselor, another relative, or another adult you trust. You should not have to handle this alone.
- Even though you already showered, it is still important to get medical care as soon as possible. A doctor, emergency room, or sexual assault center can check for injuries, discuss your health and safety, and help explain your options. If possible, avoid deleting messages, photos, videos, or other evidence related to what happened.
- Please contact a crisis resource right away with a trusted adult’s help. If you are in immediate danger, call 911. You can also contact the National Sexual Assault Hotline (800-656-HOPE / 4673) or chat through RAINN for confidential support. What happened is serious, and you deserve protection, support, and care.
CONSIDER THIS
- After a traumatic experience, it’s common to have gaps in your memory, question what happened, or feel unsure about certain details. That confusion does not mean your experience isn’t real. What would you want a trusted adult to know first if you decided to tell them what happened? Try creating a support plan with a safe adult to so you know what you can do to manage the overflow or confusion of emotions you might have or start to experience.
- The Teen Central Journal Tool may help you write down everything you remember, including what happened before, during, and after the incident. When something traumatic happens, recording details while they’re fresh can help you organize your thoughts and communicate with trusted adults, medical professionals, or investigators.
- The Keeping Yourself Safe resources may help you think through who you can turn to for support, what steps can help protect your safety, and how to get help when someone has hurt you. Reviewing these resources can remind you that you do not have to handle this situation by yourself.
