Stories

Is this right?

By September 11, 2020No Comments

I’m worried about my best friend (17). About a month again my best friend starting dating a 27 year old girl. I want to tell her that her relationship with her is not right she is literally 10 years older than you. Every time she comes to my house she has bruises on her chest and arms and ask what happen to her she says oh she got in a fight I say why are you still with her and she oh she was just mad it nothing and she gets mad at me and tells me to mind my business and that I have no right to tell who I can and not date. I’ve always told her from the jump I didn’t trust and that she is weird and she always told me she wasn’t. In my head she is sick what kind of a grown women dates a 17 year old girl my best friend just turned 17 not even 2 months ago. Me and her haven’t talked for a couple of weeks now and when we do talk she is lying to me. I asked when was she coming back home and she oh tomorrow I came and she never did I asked her what is going on she said oh nothing she isn’t ready for me to go home. Every day she used to talk to me and say how much she missed her mom and siblings and now she doesn’t. It’s like she is a totally different person. I want to call the cops and report her for statutory rape and domestic violence but I feel like that would be wrong and she would never talk to me again. I really am worried about my best friend and I miss her what should I do? Please help me 🙁

HELP YOURSELF

  • It seems like you are processing a lot of different emotions right now. With all that you are going through, feeling overwhelmed and even confused is a normal feeling to have. Thank you for reaching out to the Teen Central community for support. This is a lot for any one person to try to navigate.
  • First things first, it is super important for you to also make sure that your safety (as well as your friend’s safety) is top priority. If you are every in a situation that becomes aggressive, you don’t feel safe, or you witness someone else becoming violent to others, please notify law enforcement right away. This could be as general as calling 911 to get assistance immediately.
  • Please also go to the HELP tab on Teen Central for resources that can help with domestic violence. The National Teen Dating Violence Hotline is available 24 hours a day and can assist your friend with questions or concerns about dating and relationships. The number is 1-866-331-9474 or Text “loveis” to 22522.
  • Because physical abuse is not something to take lightly, it would be beneficial for you to reach out to a trusted adult that may be able to support you and your friend. This could be a neighbor, a parent, a counselor or therapist, or any other adult who can give you and your friend the support they need. Please do not feel like you need to take on this issue on your own.

CONSIDER THIS:

  • It sounds like you are trying to manage many stressful situations right now. The reality is that even though we want our friends to make better choices, ultimately, this may be extremely hard for them to do. On the TOOLS tab of Teen Central there is something you might want to download to help you with your friend and their relationship. It’s called “8 Signs of a Healthy Relationship”. This is sort of a guide that you and your friend can review for them to see how important healthy relationships are to our well-being. Check it out, it might help.
  • You seem to have reflected a great deal about your own friendship and the damage that this may have caused between the two of you. What coping skills do you have that can help you through this bump in your friendship? What are the things that distract you from what’s going on to keep your mind at ease? It may be helpful to write those things down. This will remind you of what helps you when you’re feeling overwhelmed.
  • Also— take a breath. These overwhelming feelings will pass. Often times we take on the emotions of our loved ones which in turn takes a toll on us. Step outside and get some fresh air. This will help with your self-care so that you can be the biggest support you can be.