Ok so I have a hard home life and some self and friend diagnosed anxiety and depression (my parents don’t wanna deal with that “mental health BS”). And I’ve been doing pretty well with managing it but with COVID I’m all of a sudden stuck with my parents 24/7. I’m forced to listen to and agree with everything they say and do. So sometimes I found that digging my fingernails into my arm is a subtle way to make me feel better when they’re being racist and or homophobic . Ik it’s wrong and I’ve tried a few things including cutting my nails but they don’t seem to help. My friends don’t pick up on clues I try to drop that I need help and they never see me do anything. I don’t know what to do. Please help.
- Thank you for reaching out to Teen Central for support. Hurting yourself is very difficult to talk about and you’re brave for reaching out for support.
- Self-harm is often driven by pain that keeps going, and is hard to stop. Stress in our lives can get overwhelming, so if you ever have thoughts about hurting yourself more seriously or dying, please reach out for help. YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Put these numbers in a safe place, either your phone or somewhere you can find them quickly if you need them – 1-800-273-8255 (you can call 24/7 and talk to someone) or TEXT HELLO to 741741. You never have to deal with stress or pain alone.
- The pandemic has been very difficult for all of us in different ways. It sounds like you have been coping with your parents’ different views pretty well when you have some space from them. Recently, it’s become more frustrating and overwhelming. Do you have a trusted adult other than your parents that you could talk to about this? Having someone listen, even if they can’t solve the problem or take it away, can really help.
- Hurting yourself seems to be a way to replace talking to your parents about how you feel or what you think. Are there other ways that you could express yourself other than hurting yourself? Check out the “What’s New” Blog for information about using ART AS A COPING SKILL. Also, consider journaling or music to let out your thoughts or feelings.
- Consider what it would be like to talk to your parents about how their views are different than yours. If you have been silent when they talk about their views they may not know or realize how much you disagree with them. Disagreeing is ok if it’s respectful, and could be a good conversation with your parents. However, we know that this can feel very intimidating, especially if you think the other person isn’t open to hearing different opinions. If you decide you want to try talking with them, be respectful of their views, and ask them to listen to your views even though they’re different than theirs. Maybe they will be open to changing how they talk about things if they know how much it upsets you.
- Taking care of yourself during this time is even more important than ever! Make time to do things that you enjoy to decrease your stress level and find balance in your life. Spending time talking with friends, listening to your favorite music, doing things you enjoy are good ways to balance the stress in your life. Check out the LEARN TAB for WELLNESS suggestions about relaxation. Check out WHAT’S NEW for information about getting good sleep, and the TOOLS section for guidance for trying meditation and yoga.