My Life is Hell

My Life is Hell

My life is a living hell
at least, at home it is, and sometimes school.
but mostly home.
new day, new fight
there isn’t a day that passes where
I’m not screaming at my parents or brother.
then I get scared.
scared that my neighbors will hear.
not to mention the night and day terrors that constantly torture me.
the human-like demons behind me, around the corners,
just staring at me, or with a knife.
it’s gotten to the point where I can barely stand being home alone.
then there are constant images in my head.
of me
with a knife, or with a gun to my head.
it’s gotten to the point where I could start crying at any moment in time
at school, at sports, my room, or hanging with friends.
it doesn’t help that I have absolutely no privacy on my phone
there isn’t any way I could have a conversation about depression,
or something personal, that my mom wouldn’t be able to see
so I suffer
not being able to speak out,
but she knows
she knows about the depression.
she knows.

CONSIDER THIS:

  • Talking about your real feelings is difficult to do, so for you to be able to write this is an amazing accomplishment.
  • If you need someone to talk to, you can head to the Teen Central website and click the Help tab to use a hotline or textline. Try clicking the Learn tab to learn more about topics such as depression, anxiety, suicide, self injury, spirituality, wellness and more. Click the Tools tab for downloadable resources about positivity, yoga, relationships and others. The Stories tab has stories submitted by other teens and answered by counsellors. You may also speak to a trusted therapist, school counsellor or religious leader about your problems.
  • You may have depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, schizophrenia or another mental health issue. A good therapist may be able to help you figure out what’s wrong with you, possibly give you medication if necessary and give you simple steps you can take to live a normal, more positive life. You may also want to consider speaking to a homeopathic or other natural doctor who can help you live a healthier lifestyle. Doing your own research will help you understand what’s best for you. Not getting the help you need could be dangerous to your health and well-being.
  • Living a healthy lifestyle by eating natural, healthy foods, exercising regularly, practicing spirituality and learning self-love may benefit you.
  • Spiritual techniques such as yoga, meditation and prayer can help you focus better, calm anxiety, have peace of mind and live a more meaningful life among other benefits. Besides this, you may also attend church services.
  • Creativity is useful for expressing yourself in a healthy manner so you can let out any negativity you may have and gain peace of mind. Besides this, you can use your imagination to escape a harsh reality. Creative activities include drawing, painting, coloring in a coloring book, creative writing, listening to music or playing a musical instrument among others.
  • Volunteering can be beneficial to your health and happiness, and provide something positive to focus on. You can help those less fortunate by reading to children at your local library, training to become a counsellor, walking dogs at a pet shelter or planting trees to conserve the environment among others. Find opportunities online or locally by visiting websites like Volunteermatch.org.

HELP YOURSELF:

  • In what ways can committing to positivity improve your life now and in the future?
  • How can having something to believe in make your life easier and give you peace of mind?
  • In what ways can imagining a better life for yourself and making an honest effort towards your goals help you stay motivated to live?
  • How can your struggles make you a stronger person and improve your life if you stay positive?