My mom and I argue

By May 24, 2022May 25th, 2022No Comments

Where do I even start.. I feel so messed up, I feel horrible. Me and my mom got into an argument because I was on a phone when I wasn’t supposed to be on one and then I ran away. I’m now living with my grandma and my mom is still refusing to talk to me. my little sister begged me not to leave her and that’s exactly what I did. I should’ve just sucked up all the pain just to stay with her and not leave her. I love my mom but I wish she’d understand me more. I just got out of a mental hospital Thursday and I came out to just the same problems. I don’t want a phone to sit around and be on it and play games. I want a phone so I can contact the people that help me most. I feel so isolated from the world. I got so many other problems, I miss the old me, that girl who everyone loved and adored, that girl who had all a’s all the time, the girl who didn’t hate herself. Now I’m just an angry person with all f’s my mom hates me, my family thinks I’m a disappointment, my friends all left me because I’m messed up. I just wanna be better already!!

Help Yourself:

Thank you for reaching out to the TC community!!  You have a lot going on right now but be proud of yourself that you are seeking help.  You can get through this and you will!!!

  • You mentioned that you were recently discharged from the Hospital.  Hopefully that means you already have an appointment scheduled with a therapist.  Be proactive, talk to your therapist, let your therapist know how you feel about your situation at home.  Let your therapist advocate for you, family based therapy may be the best option for you to figure out how you and your mom can learn to communicate better.
  • Did you learn about your triggers and coping skills that help you when you feel triggered by emotions?  You mentioned that you ran away when you got in an argument with your mom.  That is your way of coping with the stress but we want you to find better ways to cope with your stress.  Running away can lead to a lot of other problems.  Check out the TC website and you will find articles about coping skills. They are located in the TOOLS section of our website  Find things that work for you that won’t end up putting you in a bad or dangerous situation.  Maybe just leave and take a walk, or run.  Believe it or not, 20 minutes of physical activity has been proven to help alleviate anxiety and depression.  This might help you to clear your mind and think of what is the best decision for you other than going to live with your grandmother.
  • It’s always good if you have a trusted adult to talk to.  This could be a relative, clergy, counselor, or your therapist.  Get it all out and vent to this person.  Listen to what they have to say to you and take their advice into consideration.

Consider This:

  • Try using sensory items to help you when your struggling.  Believe it or not, finding a scented oil that is appealing to you and putting a few drops on a cotton ball will give you a tool to help. Put the scent on the cotton ball and keep it with you.  Take long inhales through your nose, hold it for 2 seconds and then exhale through your mouth.  Do this 5-10 times and the pleasant scent along with the deep breathing help to ground you and help you to make good choices.
  • Perhaps you already journal?  If not, start writing your feelings down in a notebook.  Sometimes getting it out of our head helps us to relieve some of the stress.  You can keep the writings or even rip them out of the journal and tear it up afterwards.  You don’t only need to journal when your upset, journal anytime you feel like it.  Write down the things that you find helpful and the things that do not.
  • Get out in nature!!!  20 minutes in nature has been proven to help relieve stress and anxiety.  Sit outside in the sun or take a brisk walk on a walking path.  Look for animals and just watch them for awhile.  Smell the different scents that are around.  Take time for you!!!  Keep working with a therapist and continue to find what helps you when you feel upset.  Use your therapist as a mediator between you and your mom.  Together with work, you guys can make things work and strengthen your relationship.  If your Doctor at the Hospital prescribed medication, make sure you stick with it.  Most medications take several weeks before they start to fully help.  Don’t give up!!!!  You are strong and will get through this tough time.