Hello. I’m 12 years old. Throughout the years I have been beaten, for as long as I remember. Whether it be a belt, a flip flop, a mattress, it never really had effects on my behavior until now. The beatings are harder and leave long red marks all over my body, and a few weeks ago I had obtained a black eye from one. My mother, who beats me the most lives by this line “spare the rod spoil the child” a verse from the Bible as most may know. It’s sometimes sickening but I am a baptized Christian myself. I’ve thought of suicide, I’ve tried it, I’ve thought of running away and currently I’m charging my phone to leave just in case my mother tries to do anything. I’ve even thought about killing my mother, which I’m afraid could very well happen if this keeps up. The only thing saving me from doing so is my brother going to college, and I can’t fail him. If I call CPS, I might lose all I have and have to live with my dad, which would socially and mentally kill me. Same thing with my grandmother. I have no options in that regard. I’m stuck here. It’s like being stuck in a gas chamber.
- It must be very difficult to feel so hopeless about your situation. Thank you for reaching out to us for some ideas to help change your life.
- If you are currently in an unsafe situation, or you feel like hurting yourself, before you make any choices that are unsafe for you or anyone else, please call 9-1-1 and let them know what is going on. If you are able to, do so from a safe location.
- Deciding whether or not to call CPS is a difficult one. Have you looked at not just what you have to lose, but what you could also gain? Your safety is the most important thing here. Having thoughts to hurt/ kill yourself, or hurting/ ending your mother’s life is very serious, and a sign that you and your family need help! TELL SOMEONE! Do it now, please don’t wait. WE WANT YOU AND YIUR FAMILY TO BE HERE AND BE SAFE!
- If you can’t identify someone to talk to, here are some hotlines that may be helpful.
Child Help USA National Hotline
Available 24/7, over 170 languages
Helps youth who are suffering child abuse
National Suicide Hotline
Helps individuals in suicidal crisis with support
- Have you tried looking at resources on our website? In our “WHAT’S NEW” section we have a blog about abuse during the pandemic. This may help you identify what’s going on and give you more ideas on resources available to you.
- In our “TOOLS” tab, we have an activity to help you with making difficult decisions. This may help you look at your choices and what is in your best interest. Consider the impact of your choices on yourself, your family, your friends and your future.
- Before you make any decisions that could have a permanent negative impact on your life, give someone a chance to help.