so my mom (32) said she was done with me (10) and I can say the same about her. my mom has made me go depressed over a year ago, it’s gone too far. when she starts I usually punch or scratch myself and then go search something like, “please end me” on google. she said “I never put my hands on you” today, that’s not true, she actually slapped me while I was pantless last Wednesday. I need help.
my mom said she was done last night. I made a plan to try to stay more at grandma’s not too long before my next birthday (in 3 months)
living like this is so painful and I love it. like i said last night, my mom (32) said she was done with me (10). Still feeling kinda like crap. I would not wish my experience last night on ANYONE. even my worst enemy.
just now my mom threatened to punch me after I hurt myself because I felt like I deserved it. this is a HUGE threat and I don’t even feel safe around her anymore. WHAT DO I DO? I’M 10. I also made a few more stories about how horrible my life is.
- Thank you for writing to Teen Central. We’re glad that we could be a constant support to you through a difficult time. Taking the time to write about the things we’re struggling with can help us feel better – even if there’s no simple solution. We’re so glad you reached out.
- The problems with your mom sound stressful and scary. You mentioned that you sometimes punch or scratch yourself, or look for ways to end your life. We want you to know THERE IS HELP! Just like you found us, there are people waiting to talk with you 24/7. WE WANT YOU TO BE HERE. If you ever feel like the urges to hurt yourself are too strong to resist, PLEASE STOP AND CALL FOR HELP! You can call 1-800-273-8255 or text HELLO to 741741 OR you can use the websites: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org or http://www.crisistextline.org.
- Is there anyone in your life that you could talk to about the issues with your mom? Could you talk with your grandmother since you’re thinking about living with her? If not her, it could be anybody – a friend’s parent, a trusted neighbor, another family member, a teacher, a guidance counselor – even if it’s virtual. It’s really important that you have someone that’s right there with you in your life that can help you if things get really dangerous. We also want you to make a plan about someplace you can go when you and mom are fighting. If things are really scary, please call 911 and let the police help you and your family stay safe.
WHEN YOU’RE READY:
- In the LEARN section, there’s information about SELF-INJURY that could help. Typically when people hurt themselves, they’re trying to deal with something that’s really painful or stressful, and they get a sense of relief from the physical pain. BUT, the risk is high that could REALLY hurt yourself, sometimes you could hurt yourself in a way that can’t easily be fixed. Also, there is a risk you could die from hurting yourself. Are there other ways that you could try to deal with the pain and stress instead of hurting yourself? Could you rip up paper, draw out your feelings, write out your feelings, or do some exercise that helps get your energy out?
- Does your mom know how upset you are about how you two are getting along? Chances are that your mom is also upset – most people don’t want to hurt other people, they just get so overwhelmed that they don’t know what else to do with their anger and stress. This can happen to moms and dads just like it happens to kids. Just like you could use some help, it sounds like your mom could use some help too. Consider what it would be like if you told her (maybe have your grandmother or someone there with you) how scared, sad, angry, worried, etc. you are about your relationship. Is there anything you miss about your relationship with your mom? Did you used to do things together? Go places? Tell her about these things that you miss, maybe she’ll miss them too and it can start to change your relationship.
- Taking care of yourself is an important job – one that you have to do every day. And during stressful times, having something that makes you feel calm, or happy or peaceful is even MORE important. Think about the things you like to do – maybe it’s drawing, or singing, or being outside, spending time with friends or playing games – whatever they are make time for them every day – at least 10 minutes. Keeping some balance in your life, and not letting it all be stress, is one way that you can help yourself get through hard times.