My parents have been fighting for quite some days now we were a happy family until my grandfathers died. My mother got so depressed that she was reminded of all the past wrongs my father had done for which she had forgiven him in the past. My mother blames my father and my father is continuously defending himself even though he is and was wrong. I am not feeling very ‘awesome’ if I can say that what should I do
- Thank you for reaching out to Teen Central! Welcome to the community and thank you for trusting us with this painful situation. Your family is going through a very sad time right now, and it’s not unusual for emotions to be really intense.
- When we lose someone or something that is important in our lives, it can cause lots of feelings like depression, overwhelming sadness, anger, fear, worry, hopelessness, guilt. It’s not unusual to “look back” and question things we said or did (and things we didn’t say or do). All of this is a normal response to an abnormal situation. If you feel yourself at any time really struggling and feeling unsafe, there are people available 24/7 that are there to listen. You can call 1-800-273-8255 anytime day or night, or you can text HELLO to 741741. Put these contacts in your phone or write them down and put them somewhere safe in case you need them.
- Grieving is different for everyone, but there are some things that may be useful to learn about as you and your family move through this time. Check out the LEARN section for good information about GRIEF AND LOSS that may help you understand what this time is about, and what to expect.
- Do you have people in your life that you can talk to about your feelings? You’re very aware of how your mom and dad are reacting to your grandfather’s death, but your feelings about this deserve time and attention as well. Talking about what we’re thinking and feeling with someone we trust can be an important part of coping. Consider talking with someone in your life about memories of your grandfather, and what you’re experiencing. Sometimes just having someone listen can really help.
- This is a good time to take care of yourself in other ways too. In the TOOLS section, you’ll find guidance about different meditation and yoga techniques that may bring a sense of peace and a support plan that may help put the pieces together to get through this time. Also check out WHAT’S NEW to learn about using art and journaling as coping skills.
- Sleep is one of many things we need for good health – and it can be really impacted by stressful events. If you’re not sleeping, or sleeping too much, check out the WHAT’S NEW section for information about sleeping better.
- As for your mom and dad – just like you, they will get through this. If you find any of the information on our site helpful, consider sharing it with them, or inviting them to do something peaceful or fun together. Realize that some of the anger you see them showing toward each other may really just be sadness underneath. No matter what it is, you don’t have to get in the middle of it or fix it for them. Just keep being you and take good care of yourself.