I am 13 and my parents treat me very badly. Normally they will act happy and sweet with me, but when i do something wrong, even if it is small thing like forgetting to take something out of the fridge they will get so mad at me. When my mom gets mad she will shout at me and blame me for everything that has gone wrong in her life. She will tell me things like “i wish u were never born”, “i will kill you myself”, “go to hell”, “you’re a monster” and stuff like that. She will also beat and kick me and I would be bleeding and will be covered in bruises. After the fight, she will come and tell me that she didn’t mean to do that and she lost “control” and stuff. But honestly it has happened like every week that I know she did mean those stuff. My dad on the other hand gets angry on a less frequent basis. But when he does he will also beat me and will grab me by my hand and pull me through the ground. He tries to remain calm but he will say things to me like ” you are going to fail in life if you continue this behaviour”. I have a elder sister who is 1 year older than me and she has social anxiety, so whenever she does something wrong they will pin it on me so that she doesn’t get ‘sad’. I try to help my sister overcome her anxiety but she is no better than my parents. She will call me mean words and will try to bring my confidence down in front of my friends. Whenever i try to tell my parents that, they just ignore me. i have had suicidal thoughts when i was 11 but now i want to succeed and show them that I can do better without them. I do self harm sometimes because I don’t know how else to cope. This is just a part of what they do to me, I came here because I want to move out when i turn 18 and do what I want. But my parents are victimizing themselves and manipulating me to do as they say. I know they are tricking me but I can’t stop doing what they say or else i fell guilty. Btw ignore my English, its not my first language.
- Thank you for reaching out to Teen Central. You are strong to reach out for help. You may be feeling many different things during these interactions with your parents and sister. The most important thing is your safety!
- It is important that you remain safe both physically and emotionally. If you ever feel you are in danger, PLEASE CALL 911 (in the US) or any emergency services in your area. On the Teen Central website under the “HELP” tab, there are numbers you can call to get help, including 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453), to help kids being abused, or you can text HELLO to 741741 if making a call isn’t possible. These resources are available 24/7. Your safety is the most important thing.
- Additionally, there is a WHAT’S NEW BLOG that has a ton of information for someone in your situation. PLEASE READ IT and use the information to help yourself. There are people standing ready to help you. All you have to do is reach out to them. Click Here for the blog.
- Do you have someone you trust that you can talk to? This could be a friend, neighbor, teacher, or guidance counselor. It is important to get help if you are in an unsafe situation. Talking to this person about how you are feeling can also help ensure you have someone to help you emotionally as you cope with this situation.
WHEN YOU ARE READY:
- When our feelings build up, sometimes we use coping mechanisms that have the potential cause more harm. You mentioned using self-harm to cope. You can read more about self-injury by clicking here. Finding alternative coping skills is important for your safety. What can you do that could help you cope in more positive and healthy ways? There are many coping skills on the TeenCentral site. Check them out and try some of them. Don’t stop until you find something that helps.
- In addition to reaching out and talking to someone you trust, journaling may help you express the feelings that you are experiencing. How do your mom and dad make you feel? What would you like your relationship to look like? What is the worst part? Start with these prompts and if you need more, check out our “What’s New” Tab or follow this link. You may even be able to use these journal entries to communicate with your parents at some point.
- Last we would suggest making a SUPPORT PLAN to help you when things get tough or you feel like you’re in danger. Make a plan BEFORE you need it, while you’re calm and you can think about who can help you, where you can go, and what you can do to be safe. Find the Support Plan here.