Hello, I’m a pre-teen who wishes he didn’t have a stepdad. My stepdad never let’s me do fun stuff. I know it may sound dumb but cause of the pandemic, I’m on my laptop from 9am to 6pm. He never let’s me play games on my ps4 or my switch on weekdays and he sends me to bed as soon as I finish dinner. While my friends are playing video games having fun from 11am to 1pm ( 1pm the next day) I’m stuck doing stupid school work. AND most of my subjects I don’t understand. I may have some learning difficulty – I don’t know – because I always get stuck on the questions I get. I just wish I was my best friend because they let him do whatever he wants whenever he wants to. He goes to sleep at 4am usually and the next day when he’s at school (well when school was open) he’s never tired. He gets to do all these fun things. Also it’s not just because he doesn’t let me do whatever I want, every time i do a tiny thing, he takes away my tv and video game privileges. Like yesterday, I made myself some toast, because I was hungry, and now i wont get video games and tv for 2 whole weeks. It might sound pretty dumb, you might be thinking, “well play in your yard or something” but because ‘the grass is wet from the rain’ he won’t let me play soccer, which i love.
Please answer me. you might not want to reply to me because it sounds dumb, but I don’t know what to do. My Mum is the best person i know but me and my mum live at his house so she doesn’t want to argue and get chucked out. So please answer me, thank you.
- Thank you for reaching out to the Teen Central community! It sounds like you’re going through a tough time. Be proud of yourself for sharing your story.It can be really challenging to open up and share your thoughts and feelings. No story is ever “dumb” and we always answer ever story.
- The pandemic has been really hard on everyone. Hopefully things will get better soon. Do you have time between your classes to practice some deep breathing techniques? This only takes a few minutes and it may help you with the stress you feel during school. Check under the “Tools” tab for an article titled “calm your breathing” Have you been able to tell your teacher or perhaps a Guidance Counselor that you are struggling to understand your school work? They want you to succeed so I’m sure they can help you out. Don’t be hard on yourself, a lot of students are struggling this year.
- You write that your Mum is the best person you know. I know it’s a tough situation but do you think you can talk about your feelings to your mum? Maybe you both can come up with some ideas to talk to your stepdad about having more freedom. I think you would also benefit by checking out the website about some of the COVID information. You, your mum, your stepdad and the world are struggling with not being able to be with family and friends, not to mention just being able to do things we normally do. Maybe you can share some of what you learn with your mom and stepdad. Check under the What’s new tab under “strengthen your mental wellness as Covid 19 continues” There are also other great articles about managing through the pandemic
WHEN YOU HAVE A CHANCE
- Check out the Teen Central website for things that fit for you. Have you ever tried to journal/color or use other methods of artistic expression? You can write down your thoughts and feelings and also if you like to draw or color, make a picture that depicts how you feel at that time. This way you can journal your feelings and have a feelings chart to see how you feel from time to time. Check out ” Journaling as a coping skill for stress” in the What’s new section of the TC website.
- You can also try using music, decorating your room, reading inspiring quotes or trying a new hobby. I know you said your stepdad doesn’t let you play soccer right now. Do you think you can talk to him about going for a walk or to a park? Can you just get outside for 20 minutes a day to breathe in some fresh air and hopefully get a little sun in your eyes. Doing something in nature even if only a few minutes can be helpful.
- Try finding a way to add some physical activity into your day. Take a run or walk. If you can’t get outside, jog in place, do push ups, jumping jacks, ect. 20 minutes of increased physical exercise can help us to feel more relaxed and mentally refreshed.
- You are important and YOU can get through this.