Problems With Family Members

Problems With Family Members

I can’t talk to my sister or mom about anything. They never make me feel like my opinion matters. Every time I try to tell them something about me, or what I like, they don’t care. They always find ways to make me feel bad. Another thing they do is when I share something important with them, they pretend to agree with me to my face. But, behind my back, they badmouth me to each other. If my sister doesn’t like something, she doesn’t want me to like it. If I do, she says something negative about it. I heard them today talking about how stupid I was just because I asked my brother a simple question. I don’t feel close to them at all and they often wonder why I rarely talk to them. I feel alone and like no one understands me. The only people I can talk to are friends I met in an online group. They make me feel good about myself. I can’t exactly tell them how I feel because they are quick to call me crazy or make claims like I have some mental issues. It’s like I don’t have a right to get mad at them.

CONSIDER THIS:

  • You feel as if your mother and sister don’t care about you, and you dislike that they treat you like an outsider and often say cruel things about you.  You believe that they do not value you or your opinions. This is hurtful because they are your family and they should make you feel loved and supported.  You only have friends online to talk to and understandably, you feel that this is not enough.
  • Having the support of your family is important and you feel as if you have lost it.   Family relationships can be frustrating and disheartening.  You want to have a better relationship with your family, so consider talking to them about how you feel.  Finding the right time to talk to them, maybe individually, and writing down what you want to say beforehand might help.  Consider writing some thoughts down about what you would say to your mom and your sister.  You might want to first explain how sad you are about your relationships and how much it would mean to you if you felt as if they loved and supported you.  Consider telling your family that you love them and want to support them and want to try to work with them to have a better relationship.
  • Having someone you trust to talk to about your situation is really important and clearly, although you have found a group of friends online, you are seeking more.  Think about any other relatives or an adult at school that you could talk to about this.  You may find that they have sound advice for you on how to improve your relationship with your mom and sister.  Also there are family counselors who will sit down with your family, both as a group and individually, who will work with you to improve your relationships.  You might want to seek one out, or tell your family or a relative that you would like to consider this option.
  • Finally, writing your feelings down, might not be the best substitute for a person to talk to, but some people find that it does help them to sort through their feelings and to think about options.

HELP YOURSELF

  • If you made a list of the top three things that hurt and upset you most about your relationship with your mom and sister what would be on the list?
  • If you were going to try to talk to them about how you are feeling and decided to write it down first, what would you say?
  • If you had a friend experiencing similar issues, what would you advise them to do?
  • Who are some people who you could go to either at school, or in your extended family, who you might be able to talk to about your concerns?