i sort of always known that i’ve problems with my eating. i’d stave myself so much that i’d pass out dating all the way back to 7th grade. i denied myself that i wasn’t sick enough. until eventually when i was 14 and at 109 pounds my parents started forcing me to eat and questing why i wouldn’t eat, and even asked me if kids at school were saying something. i’ve struggled with eating a lot and have had lots of ups and downs. at the end of summer i was 115. all i think about is how if i lose the 15 pounds how small i’d be. i also know how unhealthy it is and i try to reintroduce myself back to food but it hurts me physically so badly after eating. eating hurts so bad that i’d rather starve. i honestly dont want to be healthy, i want people to look at me and think about how skinny i am, even if it isn’t a compliment. its really shitty i know, but i also know its the anorexia talking and not me.
WAYS TO HELP YOURSELF
- We want to thank you for reaching out to TeenCentral and having the courage to talk about your current struggles. Reaching out can be one of the hardest things for people to do so we commend your bravery!
- A resource that is available is the National Eating Disorders Association which is a support for those with eating disorders. You can contact them through a phone call, a text, or an online chat.
- Their phone number is 1-800-931-2237 and they are available Monday-Thursday 9AM-9PM, also Friday 9AM-5PM.
- Click here to go right to their website and get more information.
- If you have anyone in your life that you can talk to in person we strongly encourage that. Do you have a trusted teacher, guidance counselor, religious leader, or coach that you could possibly talk to? Talking to someone in person can be helpful and they may be able to further assist you.
IF YOU ARE UP TO IT
- Have you considered keeping a journal to write down how you are feeling or doing journal prompts to try to better understand your emotions? Maybe you could do a journal prompt every day and show your parents that prompt so they can understand how you’re feeling!
- We strongly suggest you scroll through TeenCentrals Learn tab under Body Image there is a Eating Disorders section. This section talks about different types of eating disorders and how to get help. Click here to go to the Eating Disorders page and learn more!
- The important piece to remember is to take the time and take it slow . Communicate with those around you on what is going on and how you are feeling this could assist in changing some perceptions that you might have right now, and also could do the most important thing MAKING SURE THAT YOU ARE SAFE AND HEALTHY.