What’s Wrong With Me?
about a year ago everything changed for me. I was in year 6 and everyone was about to go to there new schools. EVERYONE but me. i was to be homeschooled…let me paint a picture in your head,i was a bright funny very smart girl in year six. I could sing the highest notes in the class assembly and i always got the lead. but then it went downhill and i didnt even know it until now. my grandfather got seriously ill and was told he didnt have long to live. puberty hit me and i sounded like a man when i sang compared to my schoolmates. i literally cried all the time and i just didnt know why. after i left school,i became a closed off person. i hate talking to my old teachers not that i dont like them,i love them,but i just cant do it. i find myself just wanting to stay at home. and now,seems kinda like the world is ending. this virus is gonna kill us all. and honestly,i dont care anymore. it all sounds like im a movie character,but this is my reality. im writing this right now,my eyes half asleep,my brain exhausted. but i cant sleep because when i close my eyes all i see is random things and i cant shut off. it literaly like im broken. i wrote to you before and you said i should find a hobby like drawing… I CANT BECAUSE I DONT HAVE ANY TALENT…. for anything anymore. its not like i can be famous for my looks either. i am ugly. what i do please help me because cant sleep at night except when it is 6am and my body literaly shuts down. otherwise i am crying, tired trying to sleep but failing .please im begging for help i cant take it anymore please. do i need medical help or am i making it up? that is why i am so scared to post this… i could be making it up and driving myself crazy for nothing.i dont thinks so and i really hope i dont wast anyones time on my life.
- One of the hardest things to do when you don’t feel good about yourself or your world is to speak out. Good for you for being strong to speak up for yourself. Using TeenCentral is a good place to start and we’re happy that you came back again! Making use of a hobby, like drawing, often takes time before it starts to feel like it’s helping. Check out the different resources in the TOOLS section for some more ideas.
- You seem to be describing a lot of anxiety that has come from many changes in your life. Read about it in the LEARN section, then choose ANXIETY. One of the first things you’ll see is “people who have anxiety are not pretending or being dramatic – they need help”. Look over the signs of anxiety and think about telling a trusted adult about what you are experiencing. You feel unsure about letting trusted people, like your teachers know that you’re struggling, but it can be worth the risk to try telling someone how you are feeling. Look at the Support Plan in TOOLS for some help putting together things you may want to say. People that have anxiety are often worried about being anxious. You are not alone and you’re not wasting anyone’s time. If at any point you find yourself feeling hopeless or overwhelmed to the extent that you feel unsafe, please reach out 24/7 to 1-800-273-8255 or text HOME to 741741.
- You are not alone in feeling the stress about the current world situation, we are all feeling it. This is an important time to take care of yourself, physically and mentally. The connection between our mind and body is powerful. Physical activity, yoga, deep breathing – all can help quiet the mind by caring for the body. Even a short walk outside taking a few breaths of fresh air can feel like a reset. There’s no wrong way to take a deep breath, or a short walk. Yoga is something that anyone can do, because it is personal to your experience. (there are some yoga poses in TOOLS).
- Consider how it would feel to start a conversation about how you are feeling. If talking directly to someone feels too overwhelming, consider writing about it and asking someone to read what you wrote. It may help start a conversation.
- There are a number of apps that can help you with sleep by playing relaxing music or offering guided imagery and meditation. Consider putting away social media and the TV an hour or so before you want to go to sleep, and give your mind something quiet and soothing to focus on instead. Many of the apps are free, just search “meditation”. You can find these resources online too.